Dear Creature Who Ate My Strawberries,

F you creature. Do you know how hard it is to grow strawberries in San Francisco? Our chilly summer and everlasting fog cover don’t exactly add up to prime growing conditions. And yet despite the elements, I finally managed to grow a beautiful pot of strawberries. Not that I would know. Unlike last year where there were only three, this year there loads, and I mean practically double-digits. But I guess you don’t need me to tell you that, because you freaking ate them all. You probably know how many you ate, although for the record it was at least 9, possibly 11.

A few day ago I tried one, it was good, but not quite there, and so I planned on harvesting the rest of them on Friday after work. Well psychic creature, and you must be psychic because I didn’t tell a soul about my plan, when I stepped outside on Friday afternoon I was shocked. THERE WERE NONE LEFT! Only those little baby green ones, and those probably aren’t even going to ripen thanks to the change in weather.

So shame on you creature (by the way, are you one of those birds, those damned squirrels, or something else?). I can’t believe you didn’t even have the courtesy to leave me one! I hate you.

xoxo,
-sabs.