Dear Lady Who Ruined My Dinner,

Who in the world puts on ridiculous smelling oils in a public restaurant? Especially in a place where the tables are about three inches apart? When your meal was over, you and your friend ended up chatting for a while afterwards. That is perfectly fine. What is not fine, is to take out a vial of strong smelling body oils and dabbing it all over yourself, repeatedly! What was that smell anyway? I did not know that they bottled essence de Bengay. Seriously it was strong, clinical, and sort of medicinal. And it did not go well with my lemongrass chicken.

And while I can’t speak for my dinner date Kate, I think you ruined her dinner too. She also stopped eating shortly after you rubbed medicinal nasal passage-unclogging oils all over your body. So in short, please stop being so self-centered. Put your damned oils on outside of the restaurant please and thank you.

xoxo,
-sabs.

ps. Who uses massage oils in public anyway??