Dear One-Legged Guy with the Great Pug,

Let me start off by saying kudos to you! You pulled off quite the feat today at the Pet Fair. I'm talking about how you managed to blend right in to this rather suburban yuppie event despite being heavily-tatooed with a huge spikey nasal septum piercing and Harley Davidson t-shirt, and questionable vest. You and your adorbable pig-sounding heavy-breathing pug dog were just another happy dog/owner team out enjoying the day's festivities. In fact it wasn't until I spotted you -- it wasn't hard, that pug of yours sounds like it needs a c-pap machine (that's one of those machines they give folks with sleep apnea so they can breathe better) -- the fifth time that I noticed that you only had one leg! (Just what kind of a prosethetic device do you have? It looked quite handy considering that the base was a large circle. Does that help for balancing?). Is the dog, the piercings, the tatoos and the outfit intentionally chosen to draw attention away from your leg? Or is this merely just a side-effect of your choices?

I also couldn't help notice how happy you seemed at this event and wondered if you enjoy hanging out with other dog-owners. You struck me as an odd soul who might in normal situations be too shy to approach other folks. Is this true? If so, you should try going to more dog parks. I think you might enjoy them as well.

Well sir, best wishes and I hope you and your puppy have a happy life. Your dog really is quite cute, despite (or maybe because of) its crazy pig noises.

xoxo,
-sabs.