Dear Stupid Hippy Who Broke Into My Car 12 Years Ago,

A little while back my friend Lydia posted some letters folks wrote to people who broke into their cars. And you know what, it got me thinking about you and how I never had the opportunity to say anything to you. Who am I? I’m the girl whose car you broke in to 12 years ago in order to steal my UCSC parking pass. Ringing any bells? In your awesome hippy way you thought you were paying me for it with your stupid Jerry Garcia mug that you left in the back seat. That’s right you left your dumb Jerry Garcia mug in my backseat. I bet you regret that now.

In fact I’m sure you must because that dumb mug, which was certainly not payment enough for a several hundred dollar parking pass, ended up getting you busted. Do you remember this now? At first I was going to keep your dumb mug so that I could at least have a good story to tell, or something to defend myself with next time I ran into a smelly hippy, but then the cops were able to get prints off it and it was considered “evidence.” They told me not to hold my breath because they probably wouldn’t be on file, but then what do you know, you happened to work at the University and so your prints were on file. And it also happened that my parking pass was just part of a big parking pass theft spree, and the cops were happy to break that down.

So yah, I hope it was worth it. I hope breaking into my car and giving me your dumb mug was totally worth it.

By the way, how have you been all these years? I bet you’re a stoner townie now.

xoxo,
-sabs.

Ps. I still hate the Grateful Dead, and your dumb mug sure as hell didn't make me change my mind.